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58 Things You Need To Know Before “The Vampire Diaries” Returns

1. It’s graduation day in Mystic Falls!

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2. But the party’s about to be crashed by a shitload of dead people…

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…who are led by Kol, King of the Dead People, ever since Bonnie dropped the veil.

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3. Meanwhile, Dead Lexi and Drunk Stefan are rockin’ out to Bon Jovi.

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http://honourinrevenge.tumblr.com/

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4. Damon crashes their “Dance Party U.S.A.” and Lexi’s less than thrilled to see him.

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5. But Stefan is the most amusing he’s ever been in his 166 years.

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http://pimkiehoran.tumblr.com/

 

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http://pimkiehoran.tumblr.com/

 

6. Meanwhile, Bonnie’s still dead and wondering how she’s going to break the news to her friends.

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This show is like, really dark. Literally and metaphorically.

7. And Dead Vaughn shows up at the Salvatore residence and shoots Damon in the shoulder with wooden bullets.

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8. Thankfully, Drunk Stefan finished grooming his hero hair and saves the day.

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9. But things are super peachy in the woods where Dead Alaric, Dead Jeremy, and No-Longer-Dead-Inside Elena are eating burgers…

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And smiling…

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And kumbayaing.

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10. Until Elena gets a phone call from The Grill and she assumes it’s Matt.

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11. Unfortunately, it’s Dead Connor, who’s threatening to blow up the the grill (which is filled with family in town for graduation) if Elena doesn’t hand over Silas and the cure.

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12. Dead Ric vampire-travels his way over there and threatens Dead Connor. But he’s not budging.

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13. He blows up Mystic Grill anyway.

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14. Speaking of detention, Matt is stuck on a wired plank in a parking lot that will cause some cars to explode if he steps off of it.

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15. This comes courtesy of Rebekah’s scary and hairy ex-boyfriend Alexander.

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16. He’s not too happy when Rebekah and Matt start talking about how they’ll travel to Italy together once they survive the contraption he’s worked so hard to set up, so he throws a dagger at Matt’s head.

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Thank goodness for vampire reflexes.

17. Afterwards, Bex goes on an existential rant about living life and doing what you want to do. And then, she does this:

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OW OW!

18. And by the time they’re done making out, she’s done some more vampire magic, switching spots with Matt on the plank of death so that he can go to graduation.

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19. Dead Bonnie’s wandering the halls of Mystic Falls High and (SURPRISE!) heeeeere’s Katherine, who is not so pleased that Bonnie hasn’t fulfilled her promise of giving her Silas-like immortality.

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20. Back at the Salvatore house, Elena surprises Damon. He makes this face.

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21. He shows her that he has a little surprise for her:

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THE CURE!!!!!

22. But she’s all, Thanks, but no thanks.

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23. Oh, and turns out those bullets Dead Vaughn shot at Damon weren’t just regular ole wooden bullets; they were laced with werewolf venom.

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24. He tosses the cure at Revived Dead Vaughn and they go off into the woods to “find Silas.”

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25. But when Vaughn realizes Damon was just stalling, he whips out his werewolf-venom-filled weapon again. It’s not looking good for Damon.

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And no, that’s not a hickey.

26. Meanwhile, Dead Jer convinces Elena to go to graduation.

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27. So Elena, Stefan, Elena, Matt, and Bonnie get all suited up for graduation and group hug in the parking lot.

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28. They commence!

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29. But there are some unfriendly faces in the crowd… Like Kol, who doesn’t want the veil to come back up.

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30. Bonnie lures him into the high school and then, traps him in an invisible glass case of emotion, like she did with Klaus earlier in the season.

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31. Back on the cliff, Damon’s barely hanging on.

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32. But then Dead Ric arrives to beat the shit out of Vaughn, throw him off the cliff, and…

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