IKE + TAY + ZAC = LOVE 4EVA
This is how Isaac, Taylor, and Zac all look today.
Frazer Harrison / Via Getty Images
Totally hot, obvs.
But it THIS was the Hanson that captured your heart.
The long, flowing locks. The multi-colored ’90s shirts. The awkward dancing. SO ENTICING.
To celebrate our three favourite brothers in harmony, here are 30 signs you were totally obsessed with Hanson growing up.
1. You spent hours trying to perfect the Hanson symbol.
No binder was safe from this symbol. Nor were your textbooks — or even your own skin.
2. You would wear several necklaces at once because that was totally Taylor’s thing and made you feel closer to him as a person.
3. THIS WAS YOUR LIFE.
And it was so necessary to have EVERY SINGLE ISSUE.
And to fill ALL of your wall space with the posters.
4. You were 100% prepared for Tulsa, Okla., to be the booming metropolis where you were going to spend the rest of your life.
5. This commercial changed what you ate for breakfast for the next few months.
Video available at: http://youtube.com/watch?v=oXEPCa2xpzo.
6. And after seeing that commercial, your parents let you eat nothing but Eggo waffles for breakfast, just so you could get the T-shirt.
7. You also suddenly started drinking a lot more milk.
8. You seriously considered taking up the bongos as a hobby.
9. Or perhaps maybe the drums.
Also no reason…
10. This was your bible, and it lived on your bedside table.
11. But even unathorized biographies were not beneath you.
Especially when there was an ENTIRE BOOK on your fave Hanson bro, aka YOUR FUTURE HUSBAND.
12. You recieved a fair amount of teasing and abuse for not liking “cooler” bands, but you got used to it, and would defend your boys no matter what.
13. Because of this, Hanson fans were a tight-knit fandom – before “fandom” was even a word.
You screamed together. You cried together. You had confusing preteen sexual fantasies together.
14. “Tight-knit” unless another fan thought they were going to marry your Hanson brother of choice. Because obviously he was YOURS.
15. When The Moffats came out you were like, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!
And anyone who listened to them (or dared say there were better than Hanson) was dead to you.
Like, nice highlights guys. Srsly.
16. When you saw Hanson live for the first time, it was like a 90-minute nonstop orgasm, even if you didn’t know what that was at the time.
You literally could not handle it.
17. And to re-live the magic, you definitely had this LARGER THAN LIFE-SIZE “Live From Albertane” tour poster.
18. And this became the soundtrack to the Greatest Night of Your Life.
19. You were writing Hanson fan fiction before fan fic was a thing, and before 1D fans even discovered ‘shipping.
20. Christmas is not the same without forcing your entire family to listen to Snowed In.
21. These two VHS tapes were your most important possessions. If anything happened to them you literally would have died. DIED.
22. Because they included the amazing “what do you reckon?” moment.
Video available at: http://youtube.com/watch?v=wVEI4743EPA.
As well as the magical moment when Tay BRINGS THE CAMERA INTO HIS BED AND IT WAS LIKE YOU WERE THERE WITH HIM.
23. Watching the Strong Enough to Break documentary as an adult made you relive so many feelings.
But, you were SO PROUD.
24. This was the dark day that you feared, but never expected would come so soon.
It took some time* to get over.
25. As was this.
26. AS WAS THIS.
27. And let’s not even talk about the fact that Taylor Hanson is 30 and has an 11-YEAR-OLD SON.
HE HAS FIVE CHILDREN.
28. Or that between the three of them, they now have 10 children.
TEN CHILDREN. TEN.
29. When Hanson appeared in Katy Perry’s “Last Friday Night” video you were overcome with a kind of jealous rage you hadn’t felt since 1997.
Oh, how nice for Katy Perry to have your dream band perform at her stupid house party.
30. And when Taylor Swift said this you were like, “LOL Swift that’s hilarious, ME TOO!” But secretly made you feel very suspicious of her.
BACK OFF, SWIFT.
Thank you for making our teenage years amazing, Hanson.
And for continuing to make brilliant music, despite crushing all of our dreams and not marrying us.