1. Avoid the Hollywood and Highland intersection.
What is happening? Is there a movie premiere? Your phone’s map said it was green. IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE GREEN!
2. Visit the La Brea Tar Pits.
You drive by them all the time, why would you ever need to get out and actually see them?
3. Go for a hike at Fryman Canyon.
You were totally going to wake up early and get your exercise on, but instead you slept in and ate day-old pizza. Plus, it would have been crowded, anyway, just like Runyon Canyon.
4. Try that vegan place.
You were so going to try this place but then, you know… In-N-Out.
5. Use the “subway.”
There’s a reason you moved from New York, and it’s called not dealing with this shit anymore.
7. Refuse to stand in line for Pink’s hot dogs.
But then your cousin comes into town, and the next thing you know you’re standing in the heat waiting on a “bacon burrito dog,” which ends up being delicious.
8. Stop going to The Grove.
It’s always “Never again!” then Topshop opens and you’re like, “Ugh. Fine.”
9. Shop at the local farmer’s market.
Wait, there’s a local farmer’s market?
10. Take that hot yoga class.
In theory, it sounds great. In reality, you just started watching Orange Is the New Black, which has “Yoga Jones.” That counts, right?
11. Catch a concert at the Hollywood Bowl.
Street parkings a nightmare around there, but you’re not going to pay for parking. What are you, a tourist?
12. Keep cool when you see a celebrity.
You should be used to this by now. But the fact is, that’s that dude from that thing and he’s sitting at the bar.
13. Watch a movie at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery.
Because nothing sounds better than having a picnic on a bunch of corpses while watching The Breakfast Club.
14. Visit other neighborhoods.
Sure, your friend that moved to Silverlake keeps telling you how awesome it is, but that isn’t enough reason to leave your ‘hood. Also, your local Subway knows not to put mayo on your sammy. So why would you go anywhere else?
15. Go to the Rose Bowl Flea Market.
The second Sunday of every month? That’s just way too much pressure to plan around.
16. Explore Downtown.
Everyone says it’s safe now, but you’ve seen enough episodes of NCIS: Los Angeles to scare you away.
17. Take a trip to San Diego/Big Bear/Solvang/etc.
First there’s the drive, then finding a hotel, also not knowing where to eat. It really is a logistical nightmare.
18. Sell old CDs to Amoeba Records.
You’ve been meaning to do this for awhile, but they’re all packed away under the bed and getting to them would be a hassle. Also, you don’t want to feel judged when the buyers at the store pass on your copy of The New Radicals “Maybe You’ve Been Brainwashed Too.”
19. Take advantage of the museums.
But why waste a day looking at art when you can just watch a marathon of American Ninja Warrior?
20. Go see a friend’s improv show.
Why are all of your friend’s in an improv group, and why do they seem to have a show every night of the week?
21. Figure out how to correctly pronounce “Los Feliz.”
Is it “los fuh-LEEZ” or “los FEE-less”? Actually, just say you live off of Vermont and Franklin, it’s easier.
22. Start walking more.
You tried, but that three block walk to the Ralph’s was more exhausting than you expected.
23. Finish that script.
It’s almost there. All it needs is a title, some characters, maybe a story…
You’re tired of the rat race and ready to head back to your home town where you can buy a house for $25. But then the sun comes out, and there’s no traffic for some reason, and the thought vanishes like a coyote into the hills.